A Compelling & Spooky Read During These Challenging Times

…Leadership & Self Deception by the Arbinger Institute

Years ago I worked for a principal, we will call her JA. This gal worked in earnest to ‘manage’ the staff, note I didn’t use the word lead. Initially she met with people to attempt to build relationship and learn about our school. She was very charming and seemingly wanting to engage.

She seemed to have all the strategies and tools. Over time, with great fervor and precision, she implemented at the all school board recommendations and practices in micro assessment, planning and ‘collaboration’. She even introduced a self-assessment workshop so that we as a team could identify our strengths and understand how our school team ‘worked’. This principal from first glance was working hard at attacking the school with the goal of higher test scores, perfect paper planning, and full employee engagement and achievement.

Sound great? Well funny enough it wasn’t. The self-assessment that she implemented was based on how we saw ourselves, not on how others saw us. Although she said no category of self-assessment was better than the rest, she definitely gave us the impression that the category she was in (analytical and results based) was the BEST. She made attempts at listening by scheduling meetings and doing what is suggested to be functioning as an optimum leader BUT the body language and spirit was conveying that we were OBJECTS not people. We were part of her laboratory of mice and ‘manipulatives’ to achieve her agenda. Although she seemed to be doing all the right things, people were picking up on a lack of sincerity and caring. I believe she was in THE BOX. As a result, generally our staff was in THE BOX, colluding with each other (negativity has a way of unifying). It became an endless cycle. I always felt a deep sympathy for her and tried to help yet, I would slip into the box and it seemed like such an up hill climb of attempted collaboration.

When we are in THE BOX we are inward thinking and behaving. We see people as objects to achieve our objectives and wants. When we are out of THE BOX we are outward thinking. We perceive people as people with needs, opinions and desires. The priority becomes not our agenda but from the heart intentionally responding in relationship, collaboration and service to think of the other person first, (empathy), seeking win-win solutions.

Reading this book brought back memories of this experience. In addition, I was spooked, as this fable seemed to be a foreshadowing of what is happening in the world today with the pandemic, world leaders and how people in various communities are responding. Are we learning a very strong lesson in empathy and true collaboration?

Last, parents, I urge you to ponder about the parts in the Arbinger Institute fable that discuss how the characters respond to the children.

Dazzle’s Challenge:

Quick Take Away Links:

 How Others See Us

 A Great TED TALK

Now in trying to change maybe a bit of this might help?

A Compelling & Spooky Read During These Challenging Times

…Leadership & Self Deception by the Arbinger Institute

Years ago I worked for a principal, we will call her JA. This gal worked in earnest to ‘manage’ the staff, note I didn’t use the word lead. Initially she met with people to attempt to build relationship and learn about our school. She was very charming and seemingly wanting to engage.

She seemed to have all the strategies and tools. Over time, with great fervor and precision, she implemented at the all school board recommendations and practices in micro assessment, planning and ‘collaboration’. She even introduced a self-assessment workshop so that we as a team could identify our strengths and understand how our school team ‘worked’. This principal from first glance was working hard at attacking the school with the goal of higher test scores, perfect paper planning, and full employee engagement and achievement.

Sound great? Well funny enough it wasn’t. The self-assessment that she implemented was based on how we saw ourselves, not on how others saw us. Although she said no category of self-assessment was better than the rest, she definitely gave us the impression that the category she was in (analytical and results based) was the BEST. She made attempts at listening by scheduling meetings and doing what is suggested to be functioning as an optimum leader BUT the body language and spirit was conveying that we were OBJECTS not people. We were part of her laboratory of mice and ‘manipulatives’ to achieve her agenda. Although she seemed to be doing all the right things, people were picking up on a lack of sincerity and caring. I believe she was in THE BOX. As a result, generally our staff was in THE BOX, colluding with each other (negativity has a way of unifying). It became an endless cycle. I always felt a deep sympathy for her and tried to help yet, I would slip into the box and it seemed like such an up hill climb of attempted collaboration.

When we are in THE BOX we are inward thinking and behaving. We see people as objects to achieve our objectives and wants. When we are out of THE BOX we are outward thinking. We perceive people as people with needs, opinions and desires. The priority becomes not our agenda but from the heart intentionally responding in relationship, collaboration and service to think of the other person first, (empathy), seeking win-win solutions.

Reading this book brought back memories of this experience. In addition, I was spooked, as this fable seemed to be a foreshadowing of what is happening in the world today with the pandemic, world leaders and how people in various communities are responding. Are we learning a very strong lesson in empathy and true collaboration?

Last, parents, I urge you to ponder about the parts in the Arbinger Institute fable that discuss how the characters respond to the children.

Dazzle’s Challenge:

Quick Take Away Links:

 How Others See Us

 A Great TED TALK

Now in trying to change maybe a bit of this might help?