Perception is Reality. Choose Wisely!

…It’s soooooo important we think about how our words are perceived.

Over the years, on different occasions, after making a firm yet quiet (definitely not yelling) statements to one of our sons, both sons have responded, “Stop yelling!” What? Seriously stop yelling? Yes, I was firm, but my voice volume was as per usual or maybe slightly emphatic and or direct. Interesting as they perceived my communication as yelling, yet I didn’t share that point of view.

When these instances have cropped up, I found them arresting. Immediately, I was defensive, responding with “I’m not yelling.” Following this, I thought to myself how am I communicating? Did I use words that were less than positive or sarcastic? Was it my body language, tone or did I touch on a sensitive topic that was triggering defensiveness in my sons? Did they perceive me judging them? Was I being a “little miss bossy pants?” Invariably, I could say yes to one or more of these self-reflecting questions.

Raising kids is not easy, especially today. I can’t imagine the stress today’s parents are under in juggling safety/security issues, household management and work-life balance. When most families are functioning at warp speed and often communicating through devices, we are all becoming less patient. More than ever, it is imperative that everyone slows down before using their words.

Our days are pretty full from sunrise to sundown. Even once we are home, after household tasks, homework, meal prep, and personal vegging time, the amount of time we communicate with each other is reduced to passing snippets or short sharing time around meals, television watching, driving to and from extracurricular activities and possibly time recreational time. Since the amount of time we spend with our family units can be exceptionally limited, we need to ensure that the way we are using our words is positive and build our relationships not destroy them.

This week’s blog posts will dig deeper in addressing the power of words and offer positive suggestions to help build family communication.