Feeling Shy, Anxious, or Introverted? Can These Block Happiness and Goal Success?

I’ve had many people laugh at me when I’ve told them, “I have a very strong shy streak,” It’s true. I love to entertain and I do enjoy people, however, I am a bit of an introvert and periodically I can be reluctant to engage with others, not because I want to be alone but for the pure uncomfortable feeling and effort that is required to join a new group. Why? Maybe for fear of being judged?

When Mark was young he was so timid he would hide behind his mom’s skirt. He was very slow to warm up to new circumstances and people. He dislikes change. As some of the following articles suggest, maybe it’s biological? Yet, once he’s comfortable with the newness he becomes a talkative and entertaining fellow.

The critical point we all need to remember is that shyness, anxiety and introversion are not all the same. A child or person who exhibits one of these traits doesn’t necessarily take on the rest. We need to first discuss with our children how they are feeling. If they struggle with explaining in words, then ask them to draw a picture of how they feel when faced with a new situation. Try and tease out specifically what is making them feel uncomfortable and reticent. You might find out they are struggling with anxiety or just want to be on their own.

In the good old days, parents were very quick to label their kids shy, especially in front of them when they were not willing to speak or engage with others. As parents, grandparents or educators, possibly due to embarrassment, the urge was to explain why a child was not forthcoming. Labelling the child publicly with shy is not helpful. The child feels judged and also potentially the label becomes an excuse so the child doesn’t have to engage with anyone new as they are ‘shy’.

The following articles layout great strategies for how to help support a shy wee one in your life. If you, as an adult, struggle with shyness these strategies might also be helpful. Just remember shyness is not a permanent handicap. Providing support and encouragement to our children will help them grow out of it.